By: Rachel Henderson.

Post-Encounter life got you down?

Hungry for an escape?

Try Luigi’s Pizza! Traditional shapes and colors! Three delicious options: chewable, drinkable, dissolvable!

Pod-bound? Undergoing Mandatory Mutation? We’ll transport the pizza to you!

Savor forgotten flavors—oregano, tomato, cheese—and The Process begins automatically. Luigi’s Process is tasty, and 30% less painful than the leading competitor’s!

One pie not enough? Still trapped in your organic husk? Act now, our Pizza Plan offers unlimited pizza—dissolution guaranteed!

Life’s been hard since They arrived. Isn’t it time you transmogrified on your own terms?

You deserve freedom.

You deserve a pizza.

Luigi’s!

Order today!

© 2025. Rachel Henderson

Rachel Henderson lives in New Orleans. Her stories have appeared in Neither Fish Nor Foul, Epic Echoes, NYC Midnight, and the Creepy podcast. In 2021, she won first place in the NYC Midnight Short Screenplay Competition. Find her at www.rlhendie.com.

Posted June 11 , 2025.